Minggu, 24 Juli 2011

This is not my shelter ANYMORE!!!

I feel uncomfortable in my own home. Home should be the most convenient place. A place to stay and get out of the fatigue. But, I can't feel it anymore. Since there is a very annoying little big "disruption" in my home and suddenly change my whole life, I can no longer feel that home is the most convenient place. Home is just like another hell for me! At my own home, I feel like a stranger. When I was hungry, I'm afraid to find food even in my own kitchen. The only place in this room which can make me feel comfortable is my bed room. The only place where I feel my privacy is well maintained, the only place where I could forget all of my problems. I can stay in my bed room for many hours, and nobody even care about it. Maybe, even when I'm dying in here, they will not care! And I really don't like it when there's another 'disruption' come here. I increasingly feel rid. I assume they are such a foreigners or maybe I should call them a DEMENTOR because they want to drain the hope, the feeling of peace and happiness from me. They shouldn't came to my cage, my house. I feel like wanna scream to them "GET OUT OF MY LIFE", but I literally can't do that.I don't know what suppose I do. I'm desperate. I just want to find a little comfortable as before in my own home. I really want to quickly feel the new life that soon I will face it. Even though is far from home. I know all of this will not be easy. All I want is just a comfortable in my own home. Maybe,my life would be more happier if the "disruption" is not in here, not in my home! That's so pathetic! I can't deny that "the disruption" had been part of my life.I feel like I've lost my direction. This is not my shelter anymore, I can't stay here. Please God, show me the right way for me. I want a new life. I do believe God has made a GOOD PLAN for me, and God will always guide me..... *amin*